


Glee Park Rewrite

by ReddestReaction



Category: South Park
Genre: Acapella Au?, Alternate Universe - Glee, Alternate Universe - High School, Awkwardness, Beacon Hills High School, Because I can, Brooklyn Tweek, F/F, F/M, Fem! Kyle, Fem! Thomas, Fem! Tweek, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Genderbending, Glee! Fic, Goth Stan Marsh, Inspired by Music, Jersey Kyle Broflovski, Jersey! Kyle, M/M, Multi, Romantic Comedy, Slow Burn, Slow Dancing, Teenage Drama, crossdressing pip, fem! christophe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2020-09-24 23:41:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20367025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReddestReaction/pseuds/ReddestReaction
Summary: A rewrite of glee park! A south Park fanifc with glee vibes. Shenanigans ensue.





	1. owo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First lets set this universe

Alright to make this narrative work, you guys have to work with me. I thought it would be great to rewrite this story and take a break from the original work that I was making to do this one because… i got stuck, but that’s besides the problem. In order to make this work, we need to make certain characters a certain thing so it goes as follows. 

After middle school, south park went to shit. Like shittier than normal? If that’s possible, which are we kidding, it totally is.

In this universe the episode “the list” is the catalyst to the different changes and will be brought up often. In this universe, Wendy had used the list to get her and Stan back together after thinking that Stan broke up with her to be with Kylie, his Super Best Friend. She rates Bebe as the hottest girl in school to look less suspicious, which also causes Bebe and Clyde to think that they are destined for each other and almost elope as a B plot. Due to her actions, stan and Kylie stop being friends and Kylie burns down the school, leaving Red and Craig to snap Bebe and Clyde out of getting married.

Kylie is now the baddest bitch in school after having a breakdown after being labeled “the ugliest bitch in school” and lighting the place on fire, now embracing her jersey look. Oh, there is also a rumor that Kylie and Cartman were dating due to Cartman shenanigans, him stating that “she doesn’t want to admit it because i only dated her for her money and dumped her for being too ugly.” It’s one of the many, many reasons why Kylie goes to fuck up Cartman when ever she can.

Stan is Raven because after falling into depression. You can choose why he fell into depression, it doesn’t matter. The show gives him a whole bunch of reasons. He still goes out with Wendy, but it is an open relationship that he doesn’t really care about. This will come into play a lot.

Eric is… Eric. Wait, so let’s have Eric be with Heidi after his mother got fed up with his bullshit and broke all his stuff, letting him know that if he doesn’t shape up that she’ll disown him forever. Eric has tried her patience a couple times after this threat and ended up spending whole weeks at Butter’s house.

I have no real explanation for this but Marjorine and Tallulah are a thing. 

Marjorine has the opposite of abusive parents, no she has overprotective parents who dote on her and think that she’s a saint. So much so that it becomes overbearing. 

Tallulah is the daughter of the Tweaks. After getting busted feeding their customers with crack, the Tweak family name was run into the ground, however that doesn’t stop them from selling their crummy coffee in South Park.

Pip ran away with Estelle after saving her in Britain, landing themselves in south park once more. They were adopted by an extremely conservative family, that doesn’t tickle their fancy but are willing to sit for 4 years rather than fight it. I also like the idea that Pip is being bullied by Daimen but is into it, like a consensual abusive relationship? Like a willing slave/master relationship but in a more sugarbaby/sugardaddy like way? It’ll make sense down the road.

Kenny finds himself bonding with the prince of hell, making himself quite cozy. He still dies but not as often or as horribly anymore. When he is not in Hell, he is living with his brother Kevin, who now has custody of both him and Karen after their parents got busted selling cocaine with the Tweeks.

Daimen will still be the prince of hell but he’s… less temperamental. He outlaws the goths and emos but also acts very on par with the AlNaturals. Like god-complex without being a god? I mean, he is the Antichrist, so in theory he is some type of god. Also it’s implied that he is gay but it’s neither here or there.

Craig and the gang… is a thing. Clyde is still “the hottest guy in school” and Craig is a break dancer who doesn’t give a shit after meeting a girl with Tourettes named Tammy, who is part of a dancer crew. Token is the mom character because he “is a pussy” as much as the guys are concerned. Jimmy and Timmy are… a thing.

Red is Craig’s cousin and in this alternate universe, she was labeled a flaming lesbain after being shipped with her best friend Annie Knitts, which for all extensive purposes pissed her off. After a fake-out break-up gone wrong, she is labeled as a cheating slut, causing her to hang out with Kylie more often than she does Wendy and the others.

Wendy is the head cheerleader and captain of the debate club, who is dating Stan Marsh aka Raven. She is the only person who refuses to call him Raven and insists that he is and always will be Stan and that he needs to grow up. Every now and again she will be overtaken by her alter-ego “Wendyl” which Raven detests but still has a vague intimate relationship with. It is implied that Wendyl has a life of his own but no one is sure if that is true or not.

Bebe is still Wendy’s friend and “the skankiest girl in school” after losing her top during a school trip in front of everyone. She kinda just owns it at this point. She has a crush on Clyde ever since they dated for a week in middle school where they almost eloped before snapping back into their senses via Red and Craig.

The Goth Kids are still the goth kids.

The Vamp Kids splinter into becoming new advanced forms, each one of them creating a “persona” of their own. They are now the AlNatural kids, still led by the lead vampire, Mike.

And then there is Mr Acafella. He is generally a hot guy, but everyone is almost sure he is gay after Mr Garrison spreads a rumor on it after learning that Mr Acafella is not a Spanish teacher but a Choir teacher. He has a thing for the baker girl who works with Tweek Bros., Emma Ditzi (I’m Ditzy)

Okay, this is a work in progress but here we go.


	2. 1o1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting out main 3 characters and Mr Acafella.

Mr Acafella exits the teacher’s lounge with coffee in hand, ignoring the looks he got from the other teachers. He walks past everyone, going to the very back of the school where the art rooms were supposed to be. They squeezed the art programs into one class, seeing how they were no longer mandatory, leaving several open as storage.

Once inside, he closes his eyes.

Pc Principal had tasked him with creating an extracurricular activity to bring in students to leave their problematic behaviors behind, giving him access to one of the extra rooms.

Mr Acafella sighs, closes his eyes, thinking about back in the day what he had done for himself. Back when he was a ladies man who was drowning in poon and almost… no let's not go that far today… What did he used to do?

Of course, his name isn’t “Acafella” for nothing.

Yes, he used to be part of a glee club… his voice made love better than he ever could, blessing the ears of thousands. When he sang, he felt relief, he felt as if at that moment… the world didn’t matter, just for a moment.

When’s the last time he’s felt like that? He wondered.

He looks at the clock and hums, he has some time… one number couldn’t hurt.

He begins “Feeling Good” by Michael Buble as he begins to clean up the classroom. Today was a new start in his new life in South Park. Forget all the stuck up teachers with strange double-endura last names. Forget the strange happenings that happen in South Park. Forget all of it and focus on this moment, his moment…

Outside of the classroom...

“Yo, Pipsqueak, give me your wallet.” a jock yells at an unsuspecting Pip, escorting his sister to school. Estelle sighs, walking faster, knowing this won’t end well for either one of them. A jock wraps his arm around her shoulder with “where ya think you’re going baby?” while his friends shake down Pip. 

“I told you, i don’t have any money.” Pip groans, picking up his stuff. “This happens everyday.”

“That’s right, you make that scream-o devil pays for everything don’t you. Bet you get on your-” he is then promptly cut off by being set ablaze with a snap of a finger. A literal portal to hell opens, a sleek figure walks up to the group of dicks, unamused at their daily looting.

“Honestly, Pip, this happens every morning.” he scolds.

“I’m sorry.”

“You really are.” Daimen tutts. He watches the scorched jack roll on the ground in agony before stepping on his face. “Now… What should I do with you?” 

His eyes become more demonic, glowing red as the demon boy smiles and shows off his fangs. But before a sinister plot begins to weave in the teenager's mind, he is interrupted by the  
“It’s too early to be torturing people, don’t you think?” Kenny asks, obviously dressed in clothes that aren’t his. Daimen sneers, turning to the blond with an “It’s too early to be returning from an adulturering housewive’s home, Don’t you think?” 

“Actually, she was a widow.” he says, showing off his new jean jacket. “Never can say no to some new clothes.”

“McCormicks.” Daimen rolls his eyes before returning to the prey before him.

Marjorine steps out of her father’s car, trying not to be seen by anyone. Her parents don’t “ground” her anymore. They just refuse to let her leave the house. They are “protecting” her now. 

They also “protected” her by sending her to a summer camp where the priest would slut shame her for being a little more on the busty side while trying to get her to sit on his lap during confessions… so yeah, she’s not fond of the new treatment.

“Hey there, Buttercup!” Kenny wolf-whistles and sends a wink her way from the other side of the school yard, causing Marjorine to smile. She waves back with a “Hiya, Ken!” 

“Yo, Butterface!” Cartman calls out, Heidi hot on his trail. Marjorine turns with a smile.

“Hiya, Eric.”

“Summer fucking sucked without you being around, had to live like a fuckiong hobo after i got into some shit with my mom.”

“Oh… I’m sorry to hear that, Eric.” Majorine says, her heart fluttering. It was the closest thing to a “I missed you” that she was ever going to get.

“You better be.”

A tingle goes Marjorine’s spine, hearing the hint of sultry tone behind his voice. A promise of him making her regret leaving. The feeling almost made her smile until she saw Heidi’s face as she pushed past her.

Heidi wasn’t stupid, she knew that Cartman was a bad person. She knew that Marjorine had a thing for Cartman. She knew these things but also knew that she could stoop to their level. She was Cartamn’s girlfriend and she was going to keep it that way.

Raven and Wendyl rode in the truck together in silence, Wendyl turning off his radio due to their taste in music clashing. Raven doesn’t like how Wendyl appeared in his bed this morning. It was bad enough that Wendy basically blue balls him whenever she gets the chance, it basically feels like he’s in an incest relationship at this point, but Wendyl is where it crosses the line.

Wendyl reaches over and honks at Bebe telling her to “get in bitch” without Raven’s consent which causes the goth to groan. Bebe jumps in and asks Raven if he’s okay which makes Wendyl scoff with a “Stan’s fine, he’s just pissy this morning.”

Wendyl greets the rest of the Cows, wearing their cheerpants today rather than the normal skirt. She squints at Bebe before asking “Is that a hickey?” in which Bebe replies “you like, do you think Clyde will notice?”

Wendyl rolls their eyes, knowing that Bebe was upset over how Clyde and her separated after a clearly rushed decision of getting married during middle school. And now Clyde was dating Lisa Berger, who was once a chunky fat geek, was now one of the hottest cheerleaders on the team. 

One of them. There were twelve of them after all.

“I’m sure he will.” They say, supportingly.

Red comes from behind the bleachers, fixing her hair and cheerleading uniform before running onto the field for practice. Kylie follows suit, flicking her cigarette down and stepping on it, fluffing up her large poofy hair. She has grown rather curvy since three years ago when she was voted the “ugliest bitch in school” and is still taking those counseling lessons for her low self esteem.

But she doesn’t care. She already proves that she’s the baddest bitch here with her superior grades despite skipping class all the time. 

Tallulah fumbles with her shirt, missing a button but she doesn’t care. She had almost missed the bus to school today, her dicks for caretakers not waking her up, causing her to freak out and resort to sliding down the railing to the store, and rushing to the counter to serve herself one of the seasonal coffees and a muffin that she is sure will come out of her allowance before grabbing her bag and rushing out the door. 

On her way to her locker, Tallulah stops, hearing a voice. A strong manly voice... singing? She presses her against the door, listening in.

The voice sounded so… confident. As if every word that he was singing reflected his confidence. And for a moment, she wanted it. That kind of confidence to burst into song out of nowhere.

“What are you doing?” a voice appears behind her, causing the twitchy-blonde to jump. She turns and pales immediately, seeing the fiery Kylie Broflaski behind her, her jumping with a “N-Nothing!”

The jersey girl raises her eyebrow at the nervous girl’s twitch before she presses her ear against the door, suddenly becoming intrigued. Inside, Mr Acafella finishes up his number, walking towards the door and opening it, coming face to face with the two curious girls.

“Oh… hello ladies.”

“I didn’t know that choir started up again.” Kylie says.

“It didn’t.” he says, his eyes flicking back and forth between the two. Immediately recognizing who they were he licks his lips. “But we are starting a behavioral and temperamental remedial class, if you are interested.”

“Will you teach us how to sing like that?” Kylie asks.

“Well… yes, but there’s-”

“We’re in. When do we start?” Kylie asks. Both Tallulah and Mr Acafella blink at her response.

“Uh… we can start today, after school. See what you’re made of.”

“Sounds good, right Twitchy?” Kylie says, turning to Tallulah who screams with anxiety. She looks around trying to find an out and when she couldn't find one, agrees.

“Great. See you then.” Mr Acafella says as the bell rings. “Do you two need a pass?”

Kylie walks away with a “Don’t bother.” while Tallulah squeaks out a nervous “Yes please.”

“Really Daimen, it’s fine. I don’t need you to escort me to class.” Pip says, following three steps behind the Anitchrist. Daimen turns around quickly and pins him to the locker, his intense red eyes peering into the other’s soul, making him shiver with an oddly satisfying fear.

“I’m not doing this for you, you curr.” Daimen says, his breath ghosting over Pip’s lips. “I do not like when people vandalize my property. I’m doing this to make sure everyone remembers who you belong to.”

That sends a heat through Pip’s loins.

“Can you not get your fag all over my locker?” Cartman groans, pushing past the two. Daimen seething with hatred but knows that the fat bastard was basically untouchable.

“Hurry yourself to class.” Daimen growls out. Pip nods, quickly jogging to class only to be scolded for running. Daimen stands and watches, licking his lips.

“Down boy.” Kenny teases. 

“Cease, McCormick.”

“You’re going to scare him off if you get too eager.” Kenny warns, following Daimen to class.

“Oh? Enlighten me then, how is your pursuit going?”

Kennny groans, looking at the unsuspecting Marjorine sitting in the front of the classroom, only to have someone use the overused cliche “um… this is my seat.” to make her get up from it. Luckily Cartman kicks the person in front of him out of their chair and calls out “Yo Butterface, sit here so i can copy off of your work.” knowing that the poor girl would obey automatically.

“Hey, I'm coming over to your place after school.” Cartman says in her ear, causing the blonde to curl her hair in her fingers. “So make sure there’s snacks and stuff.”

“Okay… should i have anything else prepared?”

The question made Kenny’s blood boil. The thought of Marjorine getting “prepared” for Cartman of all people rubbed him the wrong way. Honestly, she deserved better than that fat bastard, but all the attempts to deter her away from him have been unsuccessful.

Tallulah enters her classroom, quickly hurrying to her seat in the back so not to be seen, trembling at the thought of a single wandering eye landing on her. Turning, she accident;y bumps into a guy's desk, causing him to drop all his pencils in his pencil case.

“Watch it, Twitchy.” he spats, groaning at her. He looks at her before telling the poor girl to pick up the pencils with a “You’re the one who dropped it, so i think you should put it back where it belongs.”

Tallulah nods, about to bend over to pick it up before interrupted by wendyl who replies with “Yeah but they are your pencils.” they shrug your shoulders. “She shouldn’t have to do anything for you, if you really want your pencils, you’d pick them up yourself.”

“Who asked you, crossdresser?” she spats, causing them to snap, slamming their hand on the desk and leaning in with a “I think you forgot who i am.”

Tallulah shrinks as the feud begins to brew.

“Do. Not. Fuck. With. Wendyl Testaburger.” they said with a murderous glare. “Got that?”

“C-can i go now?” Tallulah whimpered.

“Of course, sweetheart.” Wendyl smiles. 

Tallulah quickly goes to take her seat, panic noisily settling in the back of her mind.

Oh god, Wendyl looked really mad, I know they have a no bullying tolerance. I hope they don’t fuck that guy up for asking me to pick up his pencil like Wendy beat up Cartman over the breast cancer thing. God, Cartman had to go to the hospital after that! I would be sending that guy to the hospital over a stupid pencil! Or worse a shallow grave! AH! I’m to young to be an accomplice of murder!

Tallulah began to tug at her hair, only being snapped out of her panic attack when a note was thrown at the back of her head.

Hey, calm down.

She turned around to see who threw it to see Raven, who seemed to be fed up with his significant other.

Yeah… thanks

She hastily wrote back.

Whatever.

Kylie saunters into class, there only being 5 minutes left, giving the teacher the bird when they asked where she has been. They demand the homework and she reaches into her bra and pulls out several papers, unfolding them and giving them the correct one, telling them to take it or leave it. Then the teacher demands that she solves a problem on the board, “since you think you're so smart that you can just skip my class”, and Kylie looks at the problem and promptly solves it before the bell rings.

She had gotten used to playing up the “i don’t give a fuck” act. Being the baddest bitch in school didn’t come easy. As she steps out of the hallway, she sees Stan... no Raven, walk to his locker. She glares at him, storming off towards the auditorium, pulling the locked door open.

She climbs upon the stage and for a moment, a single moment, finally lets herself go.  
Before she knows it, she begins to sing “The Lonely” by Christina Perri: thinking about back when her and Stan used to be Super Best Friends, back when she had her hair tucked in her stupid green hat, back when she didn’t care about what others thought… before that damn list.

The list declared her to be the ugliest girl in South Park and when it was posted, Stan didn’t stand up for her. He didn’t even try.

Stan had to gall to pretend to apologize and pleaded with her not to break off their friendship, despite him still dating the cruel bitch who had started all the whole problem, but by then it was far too late. The school was burned down, she had abandoned her old look, she was no longer the “ugliest girl in school” but the persona she plays to this very day.

As she sings, she runs her fingers through her long hair that she grew out, the curls looser than back when she had a frizzy fro. She noticed that most of the girls at school had long hair, so she followed suit, but she never really liked it.

She missed her friend, the one who would stay up late with watching movies and playing video games, the crazy adventures they would get up to, the moments where she felt that she saw him for who she was. Now, they were shells of who they once were.

When she finished, she was crying.

In the back of the auditorium, Mr Acafella stares at the broken girl, having heard her vocals from outside. He wasn’t surprised by the young girl’s vocals, knowing her mother and her loud operiac voice, but the raw emotion behind it.

“I’m not done with you yet, Satanist.” a jock calls out after Pip after the last class of the day. Pip quickly ducks behind the lockers, heading back towards the music rooms. If he was lucky, he could avoid getting whatever sick treatment they had planned for him. Lord knows that he was tired of humiliating himself by walking home smelling like potty water or waiting for Estelle to get him out of the dumpster.

“Yo, Pipsqueak,” Kylie calls out, waving over towards the Glee room. Pip quickly follows her in, only to hear the panicing of Tallulah.

“Ugh! Why did i agree to this- I don’t even sing, it’s too much pressure!”

“If it’s too much pressure, then you don’t have to-”

“No! I promised that I would do this, and you can’t go back on a promise, especially one you made to the Broflaski’s! She’ll kill me, or burn down my house and then I'll be homeless and we’ll have to move and then I'll have to make no friends in a new school! Oh god, what if everyone hates me?!? This is too. Much. pressure!”

“Yo, Tweekerbelle, just sing what you got in your head. This is a behavioral and temperamental remedial class right? Basically therapy, except we sing.” Kylie says, taking Tallulah’s hands off her hair and sitting her down in a stool.

Tallulah takes a deep breath and for a while, it’s quiet. Mr Acafella opens his mouth to tell Tallulah that if she doesn’t want to sing that she doesn’t have to once more, only to be suprised by the song selection that she chooses to sing.

Tallulah’s Twenty One Pilots’ Car Radio was articulated like a panic attack, her movements jerky like when she tugs on her hair and bits her nails and as if she was screaming at herself but not raising her voice over what was necessary.

It looked like torture but was kinda beautiful.

She screams and “And now I sit in silence!” curled up in a ball before fixing herself and singing the last chorus, it looked as if she was unraveling herself and calming down.

“Th-thank you, Tallulah.” Mr Acafella says, stunned at the emotions that both of his volunteers had shown him today. He looks over at Pip, who messed with the tie on his neck. “Would you like to try?”

“Could i?”

“Of course.”

Pip sings Afraid by The Neighborhood, his voice airy. There was emphasis on his swears and the way he tugged at his sleeves sold his concerns.

He was afraid that if he didn’t take the beatings at home or on his way to school, Estelle would receive them instead. That if people didn’t project their hate onto him, someone else would. That if he wasn’t constantly broken down and ragged on, that negativity would spread onto others. So he readied himself to be the world’s punching bag.

He voiced his opinions, clear and precise, but in a way that made them disregardable. Most of his complaints and ideals were ignored anyways. He really did hope for better days, for someone to see his suffering and rescue him from what torments him. However, that’s just hopeful thinking.

Mr Acafella takes notes of the marks and bruises, the tattered clothes that were poorly stitched back to looking presentable, and the child’s overall demeanor.

Today, he had been given an opportunity to help three teenagers who were overwhelmed with emotions and hurting. Three teenagers that he had no clue about lost in overlooked mannerisms. He didn’t know much about how to heal the deep emotional wounds these three carried, but all he did know is that he had his work cut out for him.


	3. 2w2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a school assembly, Majorine and Kenny audition for the Glee Club

“Honestly, Kenneth. This is the second time this week, perhaps you could be less liberal in your affairs that ruin other people's lives?”

“Aw don’t be like that.” Kenny says, stretching. Today he had “borrowed” some clothes from one of his many previous affair’s closets, discarding his original orange parka. He rakes his fingers through his bedhead. “I didn’t expect her husband to be home so early. I also didn’t expect him to gut me like a fish.”

“ACK! Stop staring at me!” Tallulah whimpers, trying to hold her coffee still as shook as if she was experiencing her own personal earthquake, which made people stare even more. Tallulah hated the freaking rumors about her being on crack or meth, it made people treat her anxiety like a joke.

As they walk, Daimen’s senses something… almost unnatural in the air. He turns his attention to what used to be the Vamp Kids, the only one who still holds the vampire motif being Mike “Vamyr” himself. Ashley, who had previously openly joined this group had come out as a furry and is now sporting cat ears 24/7, jumps out startling them slightly.

“Guys, look!” she sing-songs. She stands there for a moment, holding up a book. “So i totes found this book on how to do some super cool magic stuff and…”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Bloodrayne says, snatching the book out of the catgirl’s paws. Bloodrayne had adopted the new motif of being a witch, not really changing any of her attire. “I thought being a witch was my thing?”

“It is!” Ashley says. “So~... wanna go to the graveyard after school and mix some potions?”

Mike hums.

“I don’t see why not,” he says. “Now lets go before the sun hits my skin.”

As they walk past, the goths scoff.

“Conformists.” Henretta says, taking a puff of her cigarette. Mike flips his hair, unimpressed at how little things have changed while Micheal plays with his fourth and newest lip ring.

“Hey there, Buttercup.” Kenny calls out. Kenny strolls over to a car, slamming his fist on the hood, startling the couple inside. Wendy Testaburger quickly sits up, redoing her shirt and fixing her beanie. She mutters a “bye, Stan” before getting out and readjusting her skirt. Marjorine stiffens for a moment before realizing it was Kenny and waves at him with a “Hiya, Ken.”

Raven groans, sitting up and glaring at Kenny. Kenny shrugs and greets him as if this a normal day. When Raven exits the car, the two of them see a car pull up, seeing Mr Stotch basically coddling and lecturing his daughter about boys and how they are always up to no good. Marjorine desperately fumbles out of her dad’s car, trying not to be seen.

It’s been a week since the three have started seeing Mr Acafella afterschool for Glee club, then putting together a performance for the school to gather more members to make it an official class period. The results of the class had already taken effect, Kylie trying a little harder in classes, Tallulah having a little more self-esteem, and Pip being a bit more feminine and confident in his choice in attire.

Of course, this didn’t go unnoticed.

“Dude, did you hear, Broflavski has been staying after school with Mr Acafella.”

“No way. You don’t think she’s…?”

“I wouldn’t put it past her. Remember what she did to that school?”

“I mean, she’s a little hotter then back then but really?”

“I mean if she can seduce grown men, maybe she’s not as bad as we thought.”

“Have you seen the devil worshipper lately, he’s been dressing himself up like a chick.”

“Well yeah, bet the demon’s into that kind of stuff. Hard to keep a hard-on for a worthless poor heffer.”

“Heard that Tweak chic has been hanging around Kylie now. Do you think she’s back on drugs?”

“Dude, it was only a rumor that she was on drugs.”

“Her family was literally busted putting “sugar” in some of their coffee.”

“Dude, Stan, your bitch of a girlfriend ruins everything.” Cartman complains. Within the hallway, there were rumors going around about an assembly happening before lunch, which none of the children seemed to take well. They also didn't take the news that Wendy had set up this meeting well either.

“Hey, don’t call Wendy a bitch.” Raven threatened but there was no flame behind it. It was true, his girlfriend was a bitch and really, he could care less. Kenny tutts with a “I’m going to have to agree with Cartman on this one, Raven. When has any of Wendy’s assemblies ended well for any of us? Remember the time she broke up with you so she could get a spot in a play.”

“Di- Di-Di… i’m pretty sure she launched a teacher into the sun.” Jimmy concurs.

“Dude, she totally outed me for having a crush on Tammy just to prove that “people who are metally diabled can be attractive too”.” Craig scoffs, imitating Wendy’s voice.

“She also had an argument with Cartman and cheated on you in front of the whole school.” Token counters.

“She also changed genders on you that one time just to prove a point about sexuality being fluid.” Daimen says. “Causing her personality to split between her and the douche Wendyl.”

“She also made that list… and now that happens annually.” Clyde says.

“She also forced me and Annie to “come out of the closet.”” Red says, holding Annie’s hand. “Which she tries to take credit for, calling herself a matchmaker, by the way.”

“OKAY I GET IT!” Stan growls. He already knew that his girlfriend was a horrible person. It’s kinda hard not to consider dating her. He tries to ignore it for the most part. He sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “There’s a possibility that this will end badly but as you guys know, i can’t really do anything about it.”

“Alright, call down Dudes and Dudettes. Today we are going to - SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH LESLIE!” PC Principal starts like he always does. Leslie scoffs, flicking him off, this being the 7th year in the row where he would berate her for something she isn’t doing. It's surprising he’s still a principal at this point. “Today, we are here with Heidi Turner and Wendy Testaburger to speak about new clubs that are going to be established here at school.”

“BOO BOO WENDY BOO!” Eric yells as the girl steps onto the podium.Wendy scowls with a 

“Shut up Cartman.” before she clears her voice, continuing. “As you know, South Park is known for our… questionable behaviors and spontaneous… over-reactions. So this year, I have decided to look for a more positive outlet for our emotions. So I have looked around for someone to help me on the matter. Everyone, this is Mr. Acafella.”

“Isn’t that the teacher who started up Glee club? The one rumored to be gay.”

“Yeah, but that rumor was from Mr Garrison so you have to take that with salt.”

“Even so, isn’t he rumored to be sleeping around with the current members right now?”

“I don’t know but he could totally get it.” Bebe says, causing Red to giggle and snort, much to Clyde’s horror.

“Hello everyone, my name is Mr Acafella and I represented a local Glee Club until I was offered a job here recently.” He says. “I have brought my three finest to perform just for you today in hopes to coax you into perhaps thinking about joining and finding out what we are all about.”

“Well, at least I get something amusing out of this before lunch.” Mr Garrison scoffs.

“Aw dude, lame.” Cartman groans. The lights turn off but you could faintly make out 3 silhouettes on the stage. “Now we have to watch some losers sing and dance, thanks a lot Stan.”

You hear three separate voices count to three before the light turns on and reveals the performers. A small petite blonde female in green sweater dress and kneesocks, a busty redhead female with tight skinny jeans, and a femimine blonde boy in newcap and shorts.

The three start with clapping their hands and stomping the feet, each one of them hyping each other up with a “Hey” with the background music. Their movements seemed synchronized, the three turning at the same time to introduce themselves to everyone.

Kylie was the main singer, starting the song I Just Came to Say HELLO by Martin Solveig et Dragonette , coming off strong and independent, their dance movements enthusiastic, almost coordinated like a certain cheerleading dance sequence that they have been working on and still perfecting in secret for the week.

Wendy glares at how similar it was and yet the three had different movements and steps, like as if Kylie took all their attempts and repurposed them.

Pip tips his hat when he sings his verse but holds true, coming off as playful. They did a step number where it looks like they are fighting over Pip, him running back and forth between the two before pushing them away. They bounce back into the chorus, returning to their step sequence,

Tallulah took the third verse, her voice seemingly meshing with the quirky skipping record beat, as the two clapped and circled her before posing with a “hey!” before the three bounce back into their act.

As the three finish up, they turn and pose and the lights go out. When the lights turn back on, they are gone, leaving everyone confused and impressed with only two words on their lips.

“Well… Damn.”

Meanwhile, outside the gymnasium, the trio gathers themselves.

“Oh god! What if they hated it?” Tallulah whimpers inside her redheaded freind’s bosom. 

“They loved it. We killed it out there. Especially you, Tweekers.” Kylie shushes her while petting her head, reassuring her that they did great.  _ Especially since they stayed behind to practice the step sequences that the cheerleaders had been working on, get fucked Wendy. Now everyone is going to think that you stole your moves from us. _

Pip concurs, hanging up the Glee sign in the cafeteria. “Righto! We got them hooked, line, and sinker. Now all we need to do is wait.”

Everyone sat in the cafeteria, trying their very best not to talk about the assembly or the poster that was hung up on the billboard. Everyone knew that everyone in South Park was capable of belting out into song at any given moment if they so choose… but joining a club exclusively for that? That would be humiliating. No thank you.

“Dude wasn’t that Kylie?” Clyde wolf whistled. “She’s looking a lot hotter then she used to.”

Wendy glares at the football player with a “You think so, she hasn’t changed that much.” which Kenny counters with a “Are you kidding, she has curves in all the right places and looks more like a babe now. Right, Raven?”

“What…?” Raven stares down at his pizza, picking off the pepperoni and cheese and nibbling at it. He didn't want to think about it, but Kylie has changed a lot since their falling out. _ Well to be fair, he did too, but he can’t help but miss his Super Best Friend.  _ “Yeah sure, whatever.”

“He’s still sulking about losing his side-bitch.” Cartman waves off in conclusion, picking the pizza off of Marjorine’s tray, who had been picking at her salad. She didn’t mind, her father has been telling her that she has been getting a little fat lately anyway.

“So… do you think anyone’s really going to sign up?” Kenny asks.

“As if… that would be social suicide.” Cartman mocks.

“Being you is social suicide, so i guess you have nothing to lose.” Craig counters, drinking his milk. As the three walk towards their table, someone sticks their leg out to trip Pip, who almost trips and falls if not thanks to the others helping him. Kylie then kicks the guy in the knee, threatening to break it.

_ When did they become such close friends? _ The table wondered, watching the three interact with each other.

That is when Stan realizes that Kylie’s butt is bedazzled with the word “FINE” on one cheek and a hand on the other, Craig notices how Tallulah keeps tugging at the bottom of her sweater dress, and Daimen notices how perky Pip’s ass is in those shorts.

“Thanks again Wendy for allowing us to perform today.” Kylie says, escorting her friends to a table. Wendy forces a smile with a “Oh no, it was no problem.”

“Will you be auditioning?” Tallulah asks, peaking past Kylie’s shoulder. 

“Oh… uh… well you see, im part of the cheerleading team, as well as the debate team, and the welcoming committee, co-president of the celibacy club…”

“I’m also an insensitive feminist bitch. A murder. Cult leader sometimes.” Cartman mimics Wendy’s voice. Raven kicks him underneath the table. “Sparkles and sunshine.”

“No. That's okay.” Kylie says, her eyes glossing over Raven and from the others. Everyone averts their eyes, each one of them trying to come up with an excuse as to why “they would if they could” causing the redhead to sign with a “Okay then.” before Marjorine whimpers, “I’ll try out…!” with the intent to be eager to please. “Um… what should i sing?”

“Anything your heart desires.” Kylie smiles, winking at the blonde “We did plan on doing cartoon songs to start. If you’re up for it.”

“Oh… okay.” Marjorine says. Her eyes shift to everyone, them all scowling at her. “So… after lunch?”

“Sounds awesome.” Kylie smirks.

“Are you okay there, Marsh, you are turning green?” Damien states, a mischievous grin on his face. Being the son of the devil had its perks, one of them being relishing as sin brews within the human body and soul.

Stan gets up and rushes out of the cafeteria, Wendy hot on his trail and yelling at him.

  
  
  



	4. 3o3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> changes for everyone

Marjorine thought of any and all songs she could sing from the top of her head as she fidgeted with the end of her skirt, looking down at the floor outside of the auditorium, rocking on her feet. 

Kenny asks, tilting his head up at her. “Are you okay, Marjorine?” 

Marjorine nods. “I’m just nervous… that’s all.”

“Oh… well, don’t be. Those three seemed very nice.”

“Can you sing with me…?” Marjorine asks, looking up with a plea. Her eyes dilated, puppy dog eyes setting in. Kenny blushes. Originally, he had wanted to watch Majorine’s audition by judging by everyone’s reaction at lunch, nobody seemed to be interested to watch her.

“What song did you have in mind?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Alright when you are ready.” Kylie calls out. Tallulah and Pip stood as scouts, knowing that none of them was really supposed to be there, not wanting to get into trouble.

Marjorine drags Kenny onto the stag, holding his hand tightly. Her body shook but with a gentle reassuring squeeze from Kenny, she relaxed. He tilts her face toward his and tells her that she has got this before turning back to back with her.

The gentle tone of American Tail “Somewhere out there” begins to play.

When Marjorine starts, you could barely hear her. However, her voice becomes bubbly and warm as she is swept into a fantasy, soft and endearing. She smiles as she sings, her fingers curling around Kenny’s, despite her thoughts being elsewhere.

Kenny’s voice falters, his voice a little more woeful. His eyes look over his shoulder at his Buttercup, knowing that she’s thinking about Cartman as she sings. In his mind, it felt a little unfair on how they could sing a love song so intimately but not to each other.

When their voices molded together, there was a spark. A unison. They turn at the same time, looking at each other. Their fingertips lightly rest against one another, them basically dancing together. Kenny could keep his eyes on Buttercup, content that this moment between them is undeniably theirs and Marjorine looking into Kenny’s, enjoying their time together.

Kylie leans over and whispers into the other’s ears, “Are you seeing what i am seeing?”

“Hm… it's quite strange isn’t it?” Pip nods.

“Do you think they notice it?” Tallulah asks.

“He probably does… poor guy.” Kylie says.

Kenny pulls Marjorine close, his eyes flickering down at her lips. 

Then as if there was a disconnection, he lets go and turns away, returning to singing. Marjorine, a little distraught, does the same. Their fingers rejoin as they close out the duet, as if the disconnect never happened with all the subtleness of a “No homo”.

“That was beautiful.” Pip says.

“Thank you.” Marjorine smiles.

“No thank you. We now have 5 people in Glee Club now.” Kylie smiles. “And i feel like we are going to be great friends.”

“Golly, you think so?”

“We know so.” Tallulah smiles.

Meanwhile, Wendy taps her pencil in class, thinking about how Stan had thrown up right after talking to Kylie. Stan barely did that anymore when he was with her.  _ What if… no, there is no way… we’ve been together for several years... _

She shakes her head, returning to her studies.

However, she kept thinking about Kylie and how it could be entirely possible that she might have her sights out on Stan because what girl in the right wouldn’t? 

_ If that Jersey She-Devil thinks she is going to sink her fangs into Stan, she has another thing coming!  _ She wasn’t really sure if it happened in her head or happened in real life, but everything seemed to go by faster as the song “I’m me” from Phineas and Ferb. Algebra. Biology. Psy Ed.

Language. Cheerleading.

“Hey, are you okay?” Bebe asks.

“Hm… yeah, peachy.” Wendy smiles.

“Hey babe.” Raven greets, coming out of the locker rooms, kissing her on the forehead. “Are you free today?”

“No, I have a debate today, unfortunately.”

Raven’s face would’ve deflated, if it hadn’t stopped showing emotion a long time. He had hoped to go somewhere with Wendy, seeing as they hadn’t had a proper date in over a month, their weekends occupied with sports and other nonsense.

“Oh. Okay. Good luck with that.”

“Thanks babe.”

Wendy turns away, feeling bad for lying. It wasn’t because she didn’t want to hang out with Stan, but the nagging feeling she got during practice. The horrible feeling that their performances were lacking and were nothing like how Kylie and her friends were during the assembly.

“Bebe. Nicole. Red. Heidi. My house. In 15.”

Bebe, who at the moment was showing her legs off and obscenely showing how flexible she was to Clyde… I mean, stretching near the bleachers. She winks at Cyde, cursing the other to trip and fall. Heidi on the other hand was sending a message to Eric.

Heidaway: Done with practice

She tapped her foot waiting for his reply. Lately he hadn’t been as affectionate as he used to be and she was becoming worried, seeing it as the beginning of the decline of their relationship. She tucks her hair behind her head.

“Hey, are you okay?” Nicole asks, pressing some water against Heidi’s face. Heidi puts on her most convincing fake smile.

“Yeah, i’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Red asks, her eyes looking up and down Annie’s legs. Subconsciously, she drinks her water as she forces her eyes away. “You’ve been… down lately.”

“It’s just… Erik has been…”

All the girls groan, knowing where this was going. They had their scraps with Cartman and knew that there were only three people who actually put up with Cartman: Heidi, Marjorine, and his mom. And even then, even his mom is willing to call him out on his bullshit.

“Heidi… honestly, i don’t know how you deal with that fat sack of crap.”

“He’s gotten better after middle school.”

“Barely.” Bebe scoffs.

“Aw come on, he has genuine moments.”

“At the expense of others.” Nicole scoffs.

Meanwhile, Stan drove home silently in his car before noticing something strange. He pulls over, seeing a familiar group of kids.

“Hello Raven.” Pete greets.

“What are you doing?” Raven asks, parking for a moment.

“Spying on these conformist posers.” Micheal says. “The furry was going about talking about doing something freaky at the graveyard.”

In the graveyard, Ashley had started a small trash fire, using her own trash, it being mostly years worth of old fanfics that she used to write that she was too embarrassed to keep, dead flowers, and some wood that she collected when she cleaned the graveyard in exchange for being allowed to perform her ritual here.

“So… is there a reason why you brought a cheerleader here?” Vampyr asks, dressed in full vampire getup.

“Ex-cheerleader. She was my ride.” Ashley says, setting up several teacups and a kettle. “She’s also going to help me with the spell that I am casting. Oh, her name is Jenny, btw.”

Jenny had gone through a lot since middle school, from breaking her pelvis in a suicide “accident”. Her ex-boyfriend, Simon, now dubbed “Soft-served”, had dumped her telling her that “she needed to learn to love herself before he could love her”. 

She had joined the emo kids for a brief moment, and started wearing a greaser get up. And then she started going to therapy, cheerleading being manditory to get her off suicide watch. And now she’s here, joining the supernatural club.

“After tonight, Jenny will be dead.” she states.

“So… what is she supposed to be?”

“I’m going to be an esper. Already talked to Lola about it.”

Annie “Eclipse”, sat shivering with a “can we hurry this up, please?” Larry, who was acting as her chair, agrees in pain. He had yet to earn a “cool” supernatural name, him still being a follower. Allison “Hertz” stood next to BloodRayne.

“So how does this work?” Mike asks as he watches Ashley put some questionable ingredients in a tea strainer before dipping it into the tea kettle. She throws a packet of powder in the fire, the fire changing from orange to green. 

“Jenny, if you would please.” Ashley asks. Jenny nods, grabbing her pocket knife and cutting her finger, dripping a bit in each teacup. “I have brewed a transformation potion that will turn us into our desired powers while we still maintain our human appearances. Of course, I made a failsafe just in case.”

“And what would that be?”

Ashley holds up an envelope.

“This holds all of our weaknesses. This will be what will break out spells. It's legit because not even I know what our weaknesses are, only our failsafe knows.”

“That… sounds dangerous.” Bloodrayne says. “And dumb.”

“You think?” Ashley says unsure now.

Eclypse coughs.

“Okay, so we will take the potion and see what happens.”

“I still want to know who our failsafe is?” Mike says, but it is already too late as the envelope is thrown into the fire. Immediately, the tea kettle glows the steam screaming in what sounds like Jenny’s voice begins and the teacups filling themselves.

“Is it going to taste bad?”

“Only one way to find out.”

Outside of the ritual, the goths facepalm and Stan watches interest.

“At least they thought of failsafes.” Henreietta says, taking a puff of her cigarette.

“Yeah but they have no clue what they are.” Pete snorts.

“Idiots.” Mike says.

“Amatuers.” Micheal corrects.

“You… you don’t think that it’s actually going to work, right?” Raven asks, concerned

“This is South Park, anything could happen.” Pete answers.

“Oh, hello Kenneth.” Satan greets. 

“Oh come on, i have work today!” he groans. “What did I die of?”

“You didn’t die. But there was a strange note left for you and Daimen.”

_ For whom this may concern, _

_ My name is Ashley and I had performed a soul-altering spell on a group of friends of mime. However due to the strange and concerning things that I had seen while studying and evaluating this spell, I have come to the decision that if something goes wrong, there needs to be a failsafe. And thus, I had created several. I am, however, ignorant of these failsafes. With that being said, our lives are in your hands. _

Kenny blinks at the note, there being a list of failsafes and names.

“So… I'm responsible to make sure they don’t kill themselves aren’t i?”

“Seems so.” Satan says, holding out a cookie jar. “Cookie?”

“...Yeah, why not.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> getting over Stan Marsh

Listen to this while reading:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlMZXtATye4 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlMZXtATye4)

Kylie wakes up with a groan, slapping her alarm clock off before getting up. Today, she felt as if something was being set in motion, today she was going to get over Stan Marsh.

Okay so this might not be the first time she has said this but today she definitely meant it. No more pining over someone she can’t have. She can have whoever she wanted if she put her mind to it, so today, she was going to find a fine piece of ass that will help her get over Stan.

Today, she was going to wear her skimpiest skirt with leggings underneath so she won’t get expelled and a shirt that showed how great her rack was without it being slutty, she ruffles up her hair, letting it fall over her shoulders. Maybe some makeup to bring out her best features.

Stan used to love her hair. Said that it was neat as he would run his hands through it. He would also say that she had pretty eyes.

She shakes her head, trying to forget what she had just thought. She makes her way downstairs to greet her family, Geralt looks at her skirt and begins to protest but Sheila quickly shuts him up. Ike raises an eyebrow at her outfit choice but says nothing, following her out the door.

Kylie made her way to her normal spot, meeting up with Red and Annie underneath the bleachers. Red had already taken the first drag off the daily cigarette, handing it to Kylie upon first seeing her. Kylie takes a long draw before handing the cigarette back to Red.

“So, Kylie… about that dance performance.” Annie asks Kylie as she throws her head back while taking a drag, leading the three across the football field.

“What about it?”

“That was definitely Wendy’s, wasn’t it. She’s been working for months on it.” Red smirks, hip checking Kylie, which the redhead retaliates by swatting at Red’s flat ass. “We couldn’t even use it after you did.” 

“Your point.”

“It was a low blow… i like it.” 

“It’s time someone took a stand against Wendy, and I'm going to be the one to do it.” Kylie says. “I don't put up with Cartman and i don’t put up with her.”

"Fuck!", somebody shouted, running up to the three girls. "That's all your fucking fault, Rodriguez!"

"Shut up," another voice snarled back, following close behind. Kylie groaned, keeping her eyes closed, scared of what would happen once she opened them. She feared that her face was ruined, that her nose had swollen two-fold. She would never live it down if it did. "You threw the ball! Anyway, we should check up on her."

"Kylie? Are you okay?" Red asks, shielding her face. Kylie shook her head. 

“Dos Mios!” Whose voice was that? It sounded so familiar. "Sorry, Kylie. God, I really didn't want to hurt you! I'll take you to the nurse, okay?"

"No," Kylie replied, holding up one hand and covering her face with the other. The football player cups her hands, lowering them. When Kylie finally found the will to open her eyes and saw David's big brown eyes with a worried expression in his face. Kyle stared into David, her face heating up. "Oh fuck, he’s cute."

"What?"

"Who are you and why have I never noticed that before?"

"You've hit your head pretty badly, I can tell.” David laughed. “But thanks, you're cute too. Can you stand up? Do you need the nurse?"

"That’s not how it works, you have to carry me bridal style like a princess to the nurse." Kylie says, holding out her arms. She was obviously joking but David didn’t seem to mind, picking her up.

"Fuck! That was a joke, David! You can let me down!"

"Oh." David laughed again, still holding onto her. She really must have hit her head pretty badly, because instead of letting David go for her to drop her on the ground again, she curled up in his arms and wrapped her arms around David's neck. Her breasts masked his view but the football player didn’t seem to mind.

"You know what, it’s okay, just get me out of here." Kylie says, ignoring the thumbs up from Red.

Raven watches with envy as David carries Kylie away, causing him to bite his lip. Kenny raises his eyebrow, following the gaze of Raven’s scowl with a smirk.

“Problem, Raven?”

“No… there’s no problem.” he says quickly. 

“What’s going on over there?” Wendy asks, looking at the same display.

“Broflovski just got hit with a football.” Nichole says. “David’s taking her to the nurse.”

“I wish someone would carry me to the nurse like that.” Bebe whines.

“I bet you could make Clyde do it if you asked.” Lola butts in.

“As if, ever since Berger lost some weight, he hasn’t looked in my way once.”

Lisa did way more than lose weight. After being voted hotter than Kylie and the school burning down, Lisa made sure that she earned her spot, in fear that Kylie would kick her ass. Her hair was styled to fall down her face and she no longer had acne.

They look up to find Lisa putting a straw in a CapriSun for Clyde, kissing him with a “Looking good at practice today, babe.” which he smiles with “Thanks, you too.” and takes a sip. 

Tallulah sits at the counter of the coffee shop, thinking about the assignment, thinking hard about it. Other than drinking coffee and the forced piano lessons that she is forced to sit through, what else did she do in her spare time?

She stares at the newest brew of coffee, trying to resist the urge of getting a cup. She already had 4 cups today. She doesn’t need it.

In her subconscious she can hear her singing Coffee by Jack Stauber, arguing with the coffee as it chips away at her resolve. It’s like that horrible Spongebob meme. 

_ I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I definitely don’t need it... _

“Hello, Teacup.” Pete greets, flipping the hair out of his eyes. Tallulah flicks her eyes up at him with a smile and a shy “Hi, the usual?”

The goths weren’t as scary or as lame as everyone made them out to be in Tallulah’s eye, them coming in every now and again during the late nights when no one would be here and Tallulah’s asshole parents refuse to let her close up shop. They would order food and recite some of their dark poetry, which Tallulah found fascinating.

Sometimes they would invite her to sit with them despite her being a conformist. 

Pete looks at Tallulah seeing her internal conflict. 

“Are You holding up, okay.”

“Hm… yeah, I’m fine.”

Pete quirks an eyebrow at her, flipping his hair to make sure she sees it. Tallulah sighs, turning to make everyone's orders, biting her lip.

“We’re heading to school, want to walk with us?”

“Is that… okay?”

“Of course.” Pete says.

“This is Bullshit!” Craig growls, slamming his hands on PC PRincipal’s desk. 

“Hey, you need to watch your language, m’kay.” Mr Mackey says.

“Oh i’m sorry, let me try again. This is FUCKING BULLSHIT!” Craig says again, flicking off Mr Mackey for good measure.

“Listen, Craig bro, this is your grade from last year compared to everyone else's.” PC Principal says, pointing at a graph on the paper in front of him. “You were one percential above average. Barely a C-. Without that one percent, we would have to hold you back a year. In order to keep you in control we have to keep you under control.”

“So you think putting you in the Glee Club could help you, M’kay. Check up your grades at the end of the grading period. How’s that sound?”

“Ugh, i can’t believe this!” Craig groans.

“I think this is actually better than the alternative, you should be grateful.”

“Yeah thanks, can i go now?” Craig scoffs, getting up and heading towards the door, slamming it behind him. As he passes he bumps into Pip, knocking him onto the floor. Pip curls up into a ball with a “Please not the face!” 

“Get off the floor, Pip.” Craig groans, not wanting to be accused of bullying today. Pip peeps out and sees that it is Craig before nervously chuckling and getting up. 

“Thank you, Craig.”

“Whatever, man.” Craig says, pushing past him. Pip quickly goes to pick up his stuff, bending over and leaving himself open. He shreiks when he feels a hand grope his hinney, jumping up and turning to find Kenny smirking.

“Kenneth!” Pip says, swatting at his hand.

“You can’t blame me, you left it out there. I could see your prostate from that angle. And only the lord knows what I would've done to it.” Kenny says, wiggling his eyebrows.

Pip looks down at his attire, are my shorts that tiny?

“Don’t worry, I bet it’s great fap material for Daimen.”

Pip’s cheeks dust a bright pink as he thinks about Daimen having lewd thoughts about him or becoming aroused by him. The thought was unfathomable but pleasing all the same. Forbidden thoughts began to stir, ones qwelled in the deepest part of his psyche.

“Where is he, by the way?” Pip asks?

“I don’t know, picking out a collar for you?”

Pip blushes at the statement.

“Do… you think he would like that?”

“What?”

“Nothing, this was fun, Kenneth but I have to go to class. Right now.”

Kenny blinks at the Brit’s behavior as they stumble their way to class, questioning it for a hot sec before smiling. Well at least he knows Pip will be into kinky shit.

“Whatcha smiling about, Ken?” Marjorine asks, coming up behind Kenny. He turns and smiles with a “Nothing, Buttercup. Nothing at all.”

Later at lunch, the whole cafeteria’s attention was turned to Kylie when Cartman called out “Hey, Jew. I heard that the football team thought your big ass forehead was the goal post and punted a ball straight for it.”

“Shut up, Cartman!” she growls.

“Hey are you o-okay, Kylie?” Tallulah asks, twitching harsher than normal. “Gah! You look a little worse for wear.”

“I can say the same to you, Tweekerbelle.” she says. 

“I’m trying to cut down on the coffee.”

“Oh sweetheart.” Kylie says, shaking her head. She notices the multiple bandaids that weren't on the girl’s hands the other day. “Trying to cut off something addicting can be a bitch sometimes. I know because I had to do it too.”

“What did you stop doing?”

Kylie winks at her and Tallulah’s cheeks blush.

“Never go cold turkey. Just reduce it over time to lower your dependency. Like switching over to decaf first.”

“Oh, okay.” Tallulah says. “Wh-what did you start off with?”

“Stopped guys all together. Ain’t none of them going to be him so there ain't no use of trying. Stop trying to get his attention. Throw away everything that reminded me of him.”

Which was a lie. If you asked where his middle school university jacket was, it was in a box in the far back of her closet. If you asked where his favorite flask was, it was stolen one night he was drunk and made out with for exchange. The millions of “I love you’s” that Stan texted her after their falling out was still saved on the phone that she discarded.

She didn’t talk to Stan anymore, but some memorabilia wouldn’t hurt anyone.

“Hey, are you feeling better?” David asks, coming up to Kylie. The redhead smiles and goes “No, my head is still throbbing. Kiss it better?” which David smiles and goes, “Are you playing with me?”

“Why don’t you find out?” Kylie says.

The banter made Raven’s blood boil and seeing David be a sucker and lean in to kiss Kylie was even worse. The way they were rubbing it in his face. 

He was the one who knew her the longest. The one who used to kiss all her injuries when she asked. Where was he when she was dying in the hospital and he had to drag Cartman to save her? Where was he when they raised an egg together? Where was he when they would play Guitar hero everyday after school? Nowhere that’s where.

“Yo Raven, you okay?” Clyde asks, putting his hand on Raven’s shoulder. “Your meatloaf is already dead dude.”

“Yeah, what do you have to be all upset about? You’re the one who chose Wendy over her.”

“I didn’t-”

“Dude, you really did. That day when Wendy called Kylie the “ugliest bitch in school” and you didn’t say anything, you chose Wendy.” Kenny says.

“But i didn’t!” Raven slams his fist on the table. It wasn’t fair. Why does everyone use that against him? He told Kylie the list was fabricated. That she wasn’t ugly. He told her… “I told her I thought she was the cutest friend a guy like me could have.”

The whole table turns and looks at him.

“You told her what?” Wendy says.

“I told her that she was cute! But not in a romantic way, because I was with you at the time. I told her that i liked how i was the only one who saw her hair and how pretty her eyes was and how well her voice meshed with mine… she was my super best friend, i didn’t care how everyone else saw her.”

“But at the end of the day, you were dating Wendy.” Kenny concludes.

“Yeah.”

“Choosing Wendy over her.”

Raven goes silent, having given up. If he had truly chosen Wendy over Kylie that day, he truly regrets it. It wasn’t just losing his Super Best Friend, but basically a family member, a part of him. A part that can’t be replaced.

He had begged and pleaded with Kylie, told her how much he cared about her… but all of it was a waste of air in her eyes.

The outburst reached over the cafeteria, causing everyone to murmur. David shifts, uncomfortable.

“Is there something between you and Marsh? I don’t want to make anything uncomfortable.”

“What? No, there’s nothing between me and him.” Kylie says, coldly. “He’s just hung up in the past. Don’t worry about it.”


	6. 4w4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> outside of class

“Hobbies.” Mr Acafella writes on the board, before turning to his class of six. “This week we are going to learn more about each other through our hobbies.”

“Um… Mr Acafella, i don’t think that’s a good idea.” Tallulah twitches, nearly spilling her coffee on herself.

“Why do you think that?”

“Because her hobby is gobbling down a canister of coffee like it a big one, Craig reads the dictionary religiously to his hamster to raise it to be a smart as he is to qualify as a valid candidate for mating, McCormick and I are sluts who probably would blow the whole football team if they asked, Pip reads the qu’raun backwards so he can summon his demon boyfriend while drinking tea, and ButterMuffin likes getting stuffed by that fat piece of shit.” Kylie says, filing her nails. “It’s… not the healthiest hobbies to have.”

“I’m sure… there’s more to you then coffee and sex.” Mr Acafella says, looking at everyone. Everyone looked blankly at him, causing him to sigh. “Surely there is something you like to do when no one is looking, something freeing that allows you to be you. Glee club is definitely one of those things, but what did you do before this opportunity?”

Everyone continues to stare blankly.

“What do you do, Mr Acafella?” Marjorine asks, trying to help him.

“Oh, thank you, Marjorine. Well, I like to jog all the way to get frozen yogurt.”

“Jogging?” Kenny asks, cocking an eyebrow.

“Frozen yogurt?” Kylie interjected.

“Yeah. It’s a nice treat after a good work out.” Mr Acafella says. _ Not to mention the cute girl who works there. _

“Got to stay delicious somehow.” Kenny says, looking Mr Acafella up and down.

“Thank you, Kenny? Anyways, this week is a hobby, so try real hard to think of what yours could be.”

Craig crawls out of his window, jumping down and begins his trek down to Stark Pond where he sees a group of well-known break dancers. One amongst them was Tammy, a dancer with tourettes that he has had romantic encounters with in the past.

“Craig, I’m glad you came, hurry up and -shit, slut, oh my god- hurry up and come dance with me.” she says, twitching a bit. She has been getting better with her outbursts, thanks to the Cognitive behavioral therapy that was recommended to her after a misfortunate run in with Cartman during one of his expletive scenarios during their childhood, which lead her into trying out dance classes. Craig attended them with her from time to time, other times they would sit and do laundry, or sometimes make out in the back of his car. Whatever tickles their fancy.

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-Ta6sFj8eQ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-Ta6sFj8eQ)

As soon as the music starts, Craig aligns himself with Tammy, who sends him a wink. Their bodies convulsed and moved with the music, moving intimately. Everyone admired their step sequence, getting a sense of their closeness just by body language alone.

At the end of their sequence, they lean in for a chaste kiss.

“Craig, you bastard, where have you been?” she asks, twitching a bit. Craig shrugs with a “ya know, around?” which earns him a fist to the shoulder.

“You know it’s wrong to -fuck ass-” 

“That’s Kinky.” Craig jokes, rolling his eyes.

”shut up, you know it’s wrong to make a girl wait.”

“I’ve been… busy.” he offers. “But i’m here now, and you can come over and i’ll do your laundry.”

Tammy rolls her eyes at his laundry obsession. It’s really just an excuse to get her naked, which isn’t just an extent that he lends out to her, he’s done it to Token and Clyde too.

“Fine, got another one in ya.”

“You kidding? I could go all day.”

Alone in her room, Marjorine sits in the mirror doing her hair and thinking about her day while singing Cyndi Lauper’s Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. Today, she was shoved onto the floor by Heidi after Marjorine offered to let Eric spend the night. Which sounds bad but Eric insisted that he didn’t want to go to the behavior lessons that he had to go to.

There was a time where his mom assigned a dog trainer to train him but stopped after she figured out that they were abusing him. But as of today, she could give a fuck as long as the sessions had results. She was tired of old Eric.

The sad part was that everyone agreed that this was for the best for Eric. Nobody cared about his well being because in the past, he barely ever cared about anyone that he hurt. 

Heidi was trying to make him go all vegan, which was horrible and never going to work. Eric would murder everyone in South Park before that happens.

She had gotten used to Erik coming over to her house, having some of his clothes in her closet in the far back where her parents couldn’t see them. She enjoyed being rebellious, getting away with things. Like having sugar after 8 or sneaking out to see Kenny or Erik. It made her feel alive. Not to mention the attention Erik gave her lately.

Sometimes… he would touch. Nothing too raunchy and always over the waist. No kisses or marks but touch-starved. Like what he was getting with Heidi wasn’t enough or not good enough. It made Marjorine feel tingly.

She got the same feeling when Kenny would come visit her and they would cuddle on her bed. His touches were different, soft and reassuring, like as if she would shatter if he touched her the wrong way. 

Mr Acafella closes the door to his house, going on a jog. Talking about it today made him want to get a head start and maybe, stop by and get some frozen yogurt. As he jogs, he passes by a basketball court, stopping when he notices something strange.

Ike and Kylie Broflovski playing basketball.

Kylie had taken time to change out of her skin tight jeans for a pair of booty-shorts and a crop top with her name on it that looks like it originally was a jersey of some sort. She had her hair pinned back like she used to in the olden days.

As the teacher watches, he notices how skilled Kylie was as a player, dribbling circles around her little brother. This Kylie looked… unrestrained and happier then the one he sees at school.

“So.. what’s got you in a good mood today, sis?”

“Nothing. Just got some cute guy’s phone number.” she says.

“Oh… but i thought…”

“Yeah, no. That’s been over. Long dead.”

Ike stares at his sister with concern.

“Does he know about…”

“Everyone in South Park knows about it!” Kylie says. “I burned down a whole school over a jealous fit… but i’m not that girl anymore, Ike, I want to move on.”

“Changing how you look and act isn’t moving on.”

“I know… but i can’t go back to being her.” Kylie says, shooting a 3-pointer. “I can’t go back to the frizzy, pigtailed girl that pined after Stan Marsh. The girl in the green hat and self-righteous speeches. I know what i learned today, Ike, and i now know that i need to let him go.”

She shoots for another 3-pointer, it bouncing off the rim.

“So… what about this new guy?”

“First, his name is David. And I think he’ll be good for me, so put in a good word for Mom and Dad okay.” Kylie says, running over to get the ball. Mr Acafella picks it up, walking over. “Mr Acafella?”

“You got some moves, Kylie.”

“Thanks. What are you doing here?”

“Going to the new frozen yogurt place, want to come?”

“Uh, sure.” 

The new frozen yogart place in South Park was owned by a woman named Emma Ditzi, who was pretty much the cutest dumb blonde you could ever lay eyes on. She dressed like a 60’s housewife and had the personality of a tablespoon of sugar.

“Oh, hello.” she chimes with a smile. “Welcome back, Acafella.”

“Uh… yeah, hey.”

“Ooh, bring the family this time?”

“Uh… no! No, no, no… this is one of my students and her little brother. Ran into them and told them I would pay.”

“Well aren’t you the sweetest?”

“I can be.”

Kylie raises an eyebrow at the strange interaction but pays them no mind, going to look over the sugar-free options. Whenever she hung out with Stan, he would forget that she was diabeteic. She was surprised by the selection that they had here though.

“How many toppings can we get?”

“As many as you want sport.”

“Oh yes, toppings are free.”

Meanwhile at the Tweek Bros coffee place, Tallulah sings as she cleans up for the night, entertaining herself. Technically, she still has 15 minutes but her parents weren’t around. Getting into the mood, she drops her broom, breaking out into dance.

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vaz_kpmTi0M ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vaz_kpmTi0M)

She doesn’t realize when she got swept away that the door opened, two people coming in and watching her dance. Nor does she realize when she began dancing with them, feeling the adrenaline kick in from dancing and harmonizing with the music.

When she does realize however, she jumps, knocking herself into a table and knocking it over. The two wince at the display.

“Didn’t know you knew how to dance, teacup.” Craig says.

“I used to… i went to some behavior classes… freaked and got kicked out…”

“Shame… you dance really well.” Tammy says. “Don’t you think.”

“Yeah, it’s almost scary how good that was.”


End file.
